I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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