If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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