I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You can't motorboat a personality
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
