Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
