between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I would fuck him just for his dog
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize