): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
