I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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