I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
