I feel like abortions should bother me more
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
