How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
