K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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