Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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