like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm at about main and main street
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
