i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So squirting runs in the family.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
