I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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