Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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