Screwed.edu
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I didn't notice because vodka
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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