I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
