Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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