so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
