I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
