i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
