I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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