My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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