I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
