dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
In America we eat man semen.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
