The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
