the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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