i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
