R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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