First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
