I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
