member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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