This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
