why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
