I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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