I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
