So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
