My friends, they love my intelligence
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
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