you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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