she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
