his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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