I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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