I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have demons in me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
