Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
