Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
