he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
