i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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