I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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