just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
