so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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