Hey man sorry I got all grabby
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
