K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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