He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
