Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
