super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
How's work?
Spinning.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
