living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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