i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
