wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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