blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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