one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
