Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
