Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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