So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
