I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
