I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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