And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
