Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Randomize
