youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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