Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
